19 Funny Bed Quotes and Sayings That Will Make Your Day

Humour or humor is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. The term derives from the humoral medicine of the ancient Greeks, which taught that the balance of fluids in the human body, known as humors (Latin: humor, “body fluid”), control human health and emotion.

Many theories exist about what humour is and what social function it serves. The prevailing types of theories attempting to account for the existence of humour include psychological theories, the vast majority of which consider humour-induced behavior to be very healthy; spiritual theories, which may, for instance, consider humour to be a “gift from God”; and theories which consider humour to be an explainable mystery, very much like a mystical experience.  Here are some funny bed quotes and saying that’ll really crack you up.

The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board,  but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.

I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed.  Did you have a big role? No, just toast and marmalade.

Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes, Mom but I think it would be easier to buy one.

Did you hear about the granny who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster by mistake? She spent the night popping out of bed.

Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don’t feel well. Doctor: Don’t worry, you’ll just have to go to bed for a spell.

How can you shorten a bed? Don’t sleep long in it.

Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed? Jane: I can’t answer. I didn’t know I was supposed to keep count!

Sonny: I can’t sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you’ll be sure to drop off!

I’d like to buy a bed, please. Certainly, madam. Spring mattress? Oh, no! I want to be able to use it all year.

Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn’t been made up yet.

When Mr.Maxwell’s wife left him, he couldn’t sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed.

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?  A horse.

What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on? Cot-on-wool.

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music.

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace? Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why did your sister keep running around her bed? Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won’t come to them.

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed? Because he sleeps on a waterbed.

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